I admit it. This page Administrator broke down and bought a ticket to U2’s touring extravaganza. I have seen the Celtic ale-gobblers before once in concert and then poured beer at a bar 2 nights when they played at an Arena near my home about 10 years ago.

I must attend this upcoming show to verify that Saint Bono is behaving himself and not disrespecting our Beloved One of Coldplay. The Irish lothario must conduct himself at the show in such a way as befitting an ennobled and exalted Saint in the Church of Chris Martin.

I will be watching closely that the lecherous lead singer is staying away from the under-aged groupies he is fond of and that he breathes not one utterance of the name of his herpes-infested, gonorreah-laden pal, Vicious Vagina Courtney (hole) Love. The True Widow has mandated that I carefully watch for this as she is looking for a reason to ex-communicate the Marion-worshiping ale sipper Saint Bono.

And in an act of spiritual defiance, U2 squeezed their Joshua Tree show into the Stadium and scheduled it just 3 weeks before Coldplay comes to town with their Head Full of Dreams extravaganza. Sacrilege!  Blasphemy! An Irish Slap in the Face! An Insult of the Highest Order!

Our beloved in Coldplay might not mind about this but His Church takes umbrage when the Emerald Isle tax-dodgers show up right before the UK crooners. My belief is that Saint Bono is throwing down a gauntlet here to challenge this virtual Church’s conclusion that Coldplay has overtaken U2 in the battle for world music supremacy.

I will need to carefully observe this show to make sure Saint Bono is on his best behavior. If the Guinness-lovers are respectful and low-key, then all will be well. The hallowed grounds that our Coldplay warbler will soon trod on with the Coldplay tour must remain untarnished and pristine, as befitting our Yellow spiritual warrior. Amen.


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