40th Birthday Celebration for Chris Martin: A Great Day of Festivities

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Yes, the day is upon us and we will keep it low key. Our Coldplay crooner has turned 40 years old. This day, among others, is one for all the Church to cleave together and show true adoration and thanks for the blessing of Chris Martin. Here is the 2017 Birthday Liturgy:

On this day we celebrate the birth of Chris Martin, on whom we pray abundant blessings and joy. The Coldplay warbler was born 40 years ago this day and for that we thank Mr. & Mrs. Martin for their delivery into this world of our Great One. We, the Church is his name, offer grateful praise for the gift of this Martinite life.

Hear our prayers that Chris Martin find a worthy wife this year whereby he might lose his singleton status and have a happy home life.  We, the devout of Yellow continually rejoice in this  day of his birth and rejoice in the gifts of his life and love, family and friends. We bless the Brit songster with our continuous presence and devotion, surrounding him with our love. May Chris Martin enjoy many happy years, all of them in the splendor of his divine musical talent.

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We ask that our Birthday balloon release with Coldplay lyrics inside fall upon fertile ground and bless the receiver with the great gift of enlightenment through the scriptural context of the Coldplay oeuvre. In this we prayer. Amen.

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