BLESSING of the ANIMALS as a PRECURSOR to Chris Martin Birthday Celebrations

We live in a glorious world. As such, we must give thanks for the good things in our lives. Thus, the Church of Chris Martin looks forward to celebrating the BLESSING of the ANIMALS. We do this to show that our internet Chapel of Chris is not some silly, superficial devotional to the Coldplay crooner but a humble abode of penitent love for all things Chris Martin and pets too!  

” In your infinite wisdom, Lord God, when You created the Universe You blessed us with living creatures. And you sent us the Great One: Chris Martin. We especially thank You for giving us our pets who are our friends and who bring us so much joy in life. We also Thank You for gracing our world with the rapture of Coldplay. The presence of our pets and the music of Coldplay very often helps us get through trying times. Kindly bless my pet & Chris Martin. May our pets & the warbling of the UK singer continue giving the world joy and remind us all of Your power. May we realize that as our pets trust us to take care of them, so we should trust You to take care of us, and in taking care of them we share in Your love for all Your creatures. Also, just as Coldplay blesses the world with their musical oeuvre of channeled magnificence, enlighten our minds to preserve all endangered species so that we may continue to appreciate all of Your creations, great and small. May this Church of Chris continue to spread the Good Word of Coldplay to a craven and wicked world.  Bless this congregation to fight the spiritual warfare battle with the brainless wankers that inhabit Please hear our pleas and grant these prayers through the auspices of the exalted heavenly spirit of our Beloved Angel out of Nirvana, Saint Cobain.” 

Please note: There will be a Blessing of the Pets in which current pets are blessed and pets no longer with us are remembered. Children can have their stuffed animals blessed. Drive-by blessings are offered for shyer pets, and tithes, gratuities and indulgences are warmly welcomed.

As we ready our sanctuary to celebrate the festive JUBILEE of CHRIS MARTIN’S BIRTHDAY, we stop for a moment to pray for our devoted pet and animal companions. May the love that abounds surround you with the goodness of Coldplay  & may you gain an never ending appreciation for all creatures, great & small. Amen.


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