MOTHER GWYNETH CONSULTS GHOST WHISPERER on BENEFITS OF DIETARY IODINE

Mother Gwyneth, she of the conscious uncoupling with our Beneficent Master, Chris Martin, has outdone herself once again.

gwyneth_paltrow_homosexuality_the_bible_and_goop

The Hollywood vixen has now announced on GOOP that she has consulted a Ghost Whisperer who told her that people need more iodine in their diets.  No matter that Mother has also advised women to steam clean their vagina and sleep “clean.” Now it seems, her latest nugget of wisdom has set off a reaction among medical doctors who made quick work of her iodine theory.  Our blond and bony GOOP-ster enlisted the help of the self-described “medical medium” Anthony William, who speaks to ghosts to make health recommendations.

The former consort of the Coldplay warbler lists a litany of health ailments that will respond positively to increased iodine in the diet. Only problem is the doctors say too much iodine is as bad as too little. It is not hard to get a good amount in the diet. Increasing seaweed and kelp products will certainly help increase iodine levels but Mother is going overboard to now issue dietary and medical advise that she received from a Ghost Whisperer. 

The Church must rebuke Mother Gwyneth on her ill-informed advise. Just about everything in her latest GOOP proclamation is “wrong and potentially dangerous,” said a Dr. Gunter. This good Doctor also said “we need very little iodine but if you eat a healthy diet and have a little iodized salt here and there, you will be just fine.”

We here at the internet Chapel of Chris believe Mother means well but should stick to doling out much more meaningful advise like using a jade egg to enhance your sexy time or sharing her special fairy dust recipe for “Spirit Truffles.” And better yet, Mother, try not to embarrass your exalted ex-husband any more than he already has been with your GOOP-sterism wisdom. Amen.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s