New Pope Francis received a lovely floral gift from an esteemed group of Chris Martin pilgrims who made the trek to the Marian-worshiper’s Vatican City to say hello to the new Pontiff. The new Vicar of Christ was so overcome with thanks for our beautiful tribute that the Holy See placed the bouquet upon the Golden Throne of Fealty as an offering of friendship.

Though the Church of Chris Martin ardently pleaded for our beloved Coldplay crooner to be considered for the Bishop of Rome honor, we shan’t be too unhappy since the Holy Elders and other high-ups in the Church seem to really like this Francis fellow. The Church issued this decree of support for their fellow spiritual warrior in Rome: “The Church of Chris Martin prays that the good Lord will bless Pope Francis with wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, fortitude, and piety, much like our own Church–which overflows with all those great qualities. May the Holy Spirit of Chris Martin unite all who labor for good with an abiding love of all things Coldplay.”

The Church dignitaries who visited the new Pope came home to find a wonderful display of flowers in the Church rectory that the Marian-worshipers sent over as thanks for honoring them with a visit from our wise ecumenical colleagues in Chris. The card attached to the gift revealed that the Pontiff expresses much delight in the music of our Great One and that he hopes we might put forth the good name of Chris Martin again for consideration as the Blessed Redeemer of Rome.

The Church of Chris Martin hereby proclaims new Pope Francis to be a Blessed Friend of our congregation and wise admirer of the wondrous wonders of all that is Coldplay. Hallelujah!



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