BIRTHDAY OFFERTORY & SOLEMN LITURGY of THANKS for CHRIS MARTIN!

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THE HEAVENS PROCLAIM the GLORY of CHRIS!

The Church of Chris Martin proclaims the GLORY of CHRIS!

The Church prays on March 2 and gives gracious thanks for the birth of the Coldplay crooner.

Today is the birthday of the musical prophet Chris Martin. We, of good faith thank Mrs. Martin for the blessings her womb bestowed on this day.

In many cultures, the birthday of every person merits a celebration. Family and friends gather to wish the “birthday child” many happy returns. There are well-wishing, balloons, cards, cakes, candles, a favorite meal, there are gifts and jests–all the things that say, at least once a year, “You are special, there’s only one of you, we are happy that you exist.” So, it is for the good people at The Church of Chris Martin.

MARCH 2nd is a HIGH, HOLY DAY of CELEBRATION & THANKS for the miracle of Coldplay and the blessings of Chris.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our most revered and cherished song warbler. May you live to a ripe old age and keep all of your hair (and teeth.) Amen.

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