ODE TO THE BRIT’S KNOCKED UP PRINCESS KATE From The Church of Chris Martin

middletona

DEAREST KNOCKED-UP PRINCESS KATE:

NICE TO HEAR YOU & PRINCE WILL DID OBVIOUSLY MATE.
THE MONARCHY IS NOW ASSURED; A HEIR IS DUE.
SOME PEOPLE ARE EVEN SAYING THE STORK MIGHT BRING TWO!

SORRY TO HEAR YOU’RE FEELING ILL & NOT ABLE TO KEEP FOOD DOWN;
BUT CHEER UP, PREGGERS KATE, YOU ARE MOTHERHOOD-BOUND.
SOME GINGER ALE & CRACKERS SHOULD DO THE TRICK-
THE CHURCH OF CHRIS MARTIN HATES TO SEE YOU SO SICK.

A BUNDLE OF JOY WILL SOON BE ON THE WAY.
MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING, MOST LIKELY NEXT MAY.
THE CHURCH IS SURE THAT GOOD BRIT BOY CHRIS MARTIN IS ALSO FULL OF JOY–
WILL YOU NAME THE NEW ARRIVAL “CHRIS MARTIN,” IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE A BOY?

OUR BELOVED BRETHREN PRAY THAT YOU SOON RECOVER AND START PUTTING ON BABY WEIGHT;
WHETHER SKINNY OR FAT, WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, KNOCKED-UP PRINCESS KATE!

Kate-Middleton-likes-to-be-pregnant-soon-300x300

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