AGE is JUST A NUMBER, DEAR MOTHER GWYNETH (NOT REALLY)

DEAREST MOTHER GWYNETH,

ON THE OCCASION OF YOUR 40TH BIRTHDAY;

MAY I TAKE THIS MOMENT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY ONE, IF I MAY?

FOR MANY IN THE CHURCH RECTORY MIGHT WISH YOU ILL WILL;

HOWEVER, I STILL THINK YOU LOOK SOMEWHAT PRETTY GOOD STILL.

 

NOW PERHAPS DEAR CHRIS MIGHT FIND YOU A TAD BIT LONG IN THE TOOTH;

BUT WE HERE AT THE CHURCH FIND THAT ATTITUDE TO BE VERY UNCOUTH.

FOR MOTHER IS SLIM, PRETTY. & CHIC; SHE ALWAYS WILL BE LOOKING WELL-DRESSED & SLEEK.

BUT AGE 40 IS WHEN THE LOOKS DO START TO GO,

WE ARE TELLING YOU THIS NOW, MOTHER GWYNETH, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

MIGHT BE TIME TO DO SOME BOTOX AND GET SOME LIPO;

THAT WAY WHEN YOU HIT MENOPAUSE, YOU DON’T GO LOOKING LIKE A HIPPO!

MOTHER GWYNETH, DON’T FORGET THE DIAMOND FACIAL AND OXYGEN MASK;

STAYING YOUNG, FIRM, & BEAUTIFUL IS A THANKLESS & ENDLESS TASK.

MANY CHURCH WOMEN PRAY TO BE IN YOUR SHOES;

NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE DESIGNER BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE THE HOLY ONE CHRIS DID CHOSE.

SO, DEAREST MOTHER GWYN, KNOW THAT WE HONOR YOUR DAY,

AND THOUGH YOU ARE AGED AND OLD NOW IN HOLLYWOOD, THAT–WE WILL NEVER SAY.

Image

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s