As the Queen of England celebrates her 60th Anniversary on the crown with a Diamond Jubilee, good English lad Chris Martin has come up with a tune to honor Her Majesty. Being that Chris and the band is all into fair trade, Oxfam, and all that politically correct stuff, The Church of Chris wonders whether our Beloved might actually be anti-monarchy? But we will put that little question away for now as The Chapel of Chris celebrates that stuffy old English broad, The Queen and her Diamond Jubilee.
Don’t call me Lillibet; I’m the monarch and don’t you forget.
I rule the pasty English with a smile and my corgis at my side; I like to go to the countryside for a bit of a bird shoot and a nice horse ride.
Yes the monarchy family is full of drama, incest and scandal; but it is never any more than we upper crust types can handle.
Us limey blue-bloods can be thanked for gifting the world with the Coldplay blokes; It makes up for Robbie Williams and those Spice Girl jokes.
Prince William and his missus do enjoy a festive rock show in the park and Camilla thinks drinking the afternoon away with some gin and tonic is such a royal lark.
My hubby, Prince Phillip blurts out imbecile thoughts on occasion–yes, it’s true; but as he becomes older and more forgetful, these crazy utterings have become few.
So now I have sat on the throne for a good long time; wearing the royal jewels and opening day at Ascot are memories so impeccably sublime,
How much longer I can rule is up to Willie and Kate; My best guess is I might be good to hang around Buckingham Palace for at least another eight!
The Church of Chris Martin has requested I Knight Chris Martin so he may be called “Sir.” But he might have to wait until after I drop the designation on that band, The Cure.
Everyone knows that God Saves the Queen but God Also Loves Chris–so get a clue! He has impossibly pretty eyes-they are the color of cornflower blue.
Sir Chris Martin may one day very well come to be; but only if Coldplay lets me into one of their show and gives me a blinking bracelet–for free!
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN! WE LOVE CHRIS!