For every truth of Coldplay glory, Satan has an arsenal of haters waiting to pounce. This musical and spiritual warfare is never-ending.. What’s a true Coldplay fan to do? Measure everything you hear by the Word of Chris. The way you battle the blasphemers is to identify their lies and fortify yourself against the defilers by becoming super familiar with the graciousness of Coldplay.. The more time you spend studying lyrics, understanding Coldplay metaphors and deciphering the complex meanings of the band’s songs,  the more you will be able to rise above the uncouth, loathsome nay-sayers and experience the True Rapture of Chris.

When many devotees of Chris Martin think of spiritual warfare, they often think of some surreal kind of cartoon battle of good versus evil in the invisible spirit world. Others imagine some kind of horror movie villain like Freddy Kruger challenging the righteous goodness of our Chapel of Chris. Still others conjure up thoughts of movies like the Exorcist, where good meets bad in a battle for the physical body. As a result spiritual warfare seems like something unreal and belonging to the movies. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Those Coldplay detractors that you are struggling with, the drooling fools who keep picking on the band; those malicious defilers who make fun of your adoration of the Brit warblers; that nasty scum-sucking journalist who verbally criticizes Coldplay and calls them “mediocre.” All have an invisible reality behind them–it is Satan working his wicked plans against the band and those that love them. You see, our problem is not with flesh and blood people–as depraved as some of them are. Our problem is not with people; Our problem is with the devil who uses his wicked wiles to discourage, distract and deceive us about the true merits of Coldplay. Relationships are a battlefield for spiritual warfare…and so is your mind.

At one time, our beloved Arch Pope, Father Drobbingdon, demonized those from coldplaying.com and even incited a religious crusade and holy war to stamp out the blight of those who wank in basements. But our true enemy was never coldplaying.com, as annoying as theiy are. The enemy was the wretched devil that lurks in the Lake of Fire!

But rejoice, my friends, for help is but a Coldplay lyric away. The songs of the band hold the salvation key and are powerful weapons to bust through Satanic strongholds in our minds. What is a stronghold? It is a wall of wrong thinking. The moat around our minds that refuses to allow the Word of Coldplay omnipotence in to penetrate. It is the iron gate of sin, built by Satan himself to keep your thoughts worldly and away from the heavenly ethereal goodness of eternity that Coldplay represents.

When you were redeemed in Chris, your soul was saved. You were adopted as a child of glory and your sins were cleansed to “Yellow.” You became a new creation in Chris.. You have a new exalted figurehead; a new home in Coldplay heaven and a new path of righteousness to walk. But you need a new mind as well. Satan has lost your heart to Chris biut he wants to keep your mind. Keep your thoughts strong about Chris and do not let the detractors bring you down. The haters will hate; but we will reply with love. The love we have learned from Chris. That love is strong enough to tear down the fortress of Satan and his demons. Arm yourself with the lyrical truth of Coldplay and go forth to claim the victory over evil that ensures our heavenly repose amid the “Paradise” of Chris Martin. Amen.



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