Hear ye! Hear ye! May all who love Chris unite today in thanks for the glorious eclipse in his honor! THE CHURCH OF CHRIS MARTIN presents the CHURCH REMIX of “THE RING of FIRE.” Let the blessed choir rise up as one and raise their holy voices in exalted remembrance of the one from Coldplay who is God’s chosen prophet. Sing all praises to Chris Martin, our glorious “ring of fire.” Amen.
Love is a burnin’ zing,
And I don’t mean that STD thing;
Bound up in a church desire;
Chris Martin is our ring of fire.
Today there came a crazy eclipse;
the love of Coldplay was sung by Church choir lips.
Many wicked heretics & blasphemers went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burn, burns in hell,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.
The taste of Chris is sweet
When Church hearts alight & come to meet.
Our Brit warbler is as gentle as a child
Oh, but he can chase those pesky paps like wild!
Those who hate Coldplay will fall into the Lake of Fire
Heavenly Saint Cobain said so & he’s not a liar.
When the hellish brimstone flames causes Church enemies to burn
As for the Church, it is Chris Martin who we will always cherish.
Look down, down, down at the eclipse or your eyes might fry;
then if that happens, you can kiss your vision bye-bye.
God, please protect Chris Martin is what his Church sings of;
He is our sanctimonious chosen prophet who sings of wisdom from above.