For every truth of Coldplay glory, Satan has an arsenal of haters waiting to pounce. This musical and spiritual warfare is never-ending.. What’s a true Coldplay fan to do? Measure everything you hear by the Word of Chris. The way you battle the blasphemers is to identify their lies and fortify yourself against the defilers by becoming super familiar with the graciousness of Coldplay.. The more time you spend studying lyrics, understanding Coldplay metaphors and deciphering the complex meanings of the band’s songs,  the more you will be able to rise above the uncouth, loathsome nay-sayers and experience the True Rapture of Chris.

When many devotees of Chris Martin think of spiritual warfare, they often think of some surreal kind of cartoon battle of good versus evil in the invisible spirit world. Others imagine some kind of horror movie villain like Freddy Kruger challenging the righteous goodness of our Chapel of Chris. Still others conjure up thoughts of movies like the Exorcist, where good meets bad in a battle for the physical body. As a result spiritual warfare seems like something unreal and belonging to the movies. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Those Coldplay detractors that you are struggling with, the drooling fools who keep picking on the band; those malicious defilers who make fun of your adoration of the Brit warblers; that nasty scum-sucking journalist who verbally criticizes Coldplay and calls them “mediocre.” All have an invisible reality behind them–it is Satan working his wicked plans against the band and those that love them. You see, our problem is not with flesh and blood people–as depraved as some of them are. Our problem is not with people; Our problem is with the devil who uses his wicked wiles to discourage, distract and deceive us about the true merits of Coldplay. Relationships are a battlefield for spiritual warfare…and so is your mind.

At one time, our beloved Arch Pope, Father Drobbingdon, demonized those from coldplaying.com and even incited a religious crusade and holy war to stamp out the blight of those who wank in basements. But our true enemy was never coldplaying.com, as annoying as theiy are. The enemy was the wretched devil that lurks in the Lake of Fire!

But rejoice, my friends, for help is but a Coldplay lyric away. The songs of the band hold the salvation key and are powerful weapons to bust through Satanic strongholds in our minds. What is a stronghold? It is a wall of wrong thinking. The moat around our minds that refuses to allow the Word of Coldplay omnipotence in to penetrate. It is the iron gate of sin, built by Satan himself to keep your thoughts worldly and away from the heavenly ethereal goodness of eternity that Coldplay represents.

When you were redeemed in Chris, your soul was saved. You were adopted as a child of glory and your sins were cleansed to “Yellow.” You became a new creation in Chris.. You have a new exalted figurehead; a new home in Coldplay heaven and a new path of righteousness to walk. But you need a new mind as well. Satan has lost your heart to Chris biut he wants to keep your mind. Keep your thoughts strong about Chris and do not let the detractors bring you down. The haters will hate; but we will reply with love. The love we have learned from Chris. That love is strong enough to tear down the fortress of Satan and his demons. Arm yourself with the lyrical truth of Coldplay and go forth to claim the victory over evil that ensures our heavenly repose amid the “Paradise” of Chris Martin. Amen.




Hear ye! Hear ye! May all who love Chris unite today in thanks for the glorious eclipse in his honor!  THE CHURCH OF CHRIS MARTIN presents the CHURCH REMIX of “THE RING of FIRE.” Let the blessed choir rise up as one and raise their holy voices in exalted remembrance of the one from Coldplay who is God’s chosen prophet. Sing all praises to Chris Martin, our glorious “ring of fire.” Amen.

Love is a burnin’ zing,
And I don’t mean that STD thing;
Bound up in a church desire;
Chris Martin is our ring of fire.

Today there came a crazy eclipse;

the love of Coldplay was sung by  Church choir lips.

Many wicked heretics & blasphemers went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burn, burns in hell,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.

The taste of Chris is sweet
When Church hearts alight & come to meet.
Our Brit warbler is as gentle as a child
Oh, but he can chase those pesky paps like wild!

Those who hate Coldplay will fall into the Lake of Fire
Heavenly Saint Cobain said so & he’s not a liar.
When the hellish brimstone flames causes Church enemies to burn

Our devout hearts for Chris, will always fondly yearn.,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.
Naysayers and Hollywood Jezebels will surely perish;

As for the Church, it is Chris Martin who we will always cherish.

Look  down, down, down at the eclipse or your eyes might fry;

then if that happens, you can kiss your vision bye-bye.

God, please protect Chris Martin is what his Church sings of;

He is our sanctimonious chosen prophet who sings of wisdom from above.




Thousands of people in the western U.S. will be treated to a rare ‘ring of fire’ eclipse on the evening of Sunday, May 20, 2012. The Church of Chris Martin declares this phenomena to truly be indicative of a heavenly blessing from above honoring Coldplay & Chris Martin for their recent series of spectacular concerts they performed on the west coast.

Church parties in the U.S. are eagerly awaiting the blazing halo of light, which will be visible on a path from northwestern Texas through New Mexico, northeastern Arizona, southern Utah, Nevada, northern California and southwestern Oregon from around 5.15 pm today. Interestingly, this very path follows the recent journey of Coldplay who performed recently in Vancouver, British Columbia and then made their way down to Los Angeles for several critically-acclaimed, sold out shows at the Hollywood Bowl.

The eclipse will follow a 8,500-mile path for three and a half hours but the ‘ring of fire’ will last just five minutes, depending on the viewing location. The Church of Chris Martin surmises this “ring of fire” to be a heart-shaped kiss from the Gods to our Soul Master. The Heaven declare the glory of Chris. His innate wisdom and gentle ways please those who reside in the intergalactic world & these angelic messengers have conspired to exalt Chris with this spectacular display of the Sun and Moon dancing.

People outside the Church walls may not realize the divine delight of Coldplay but the heavens cry out to his glory. .The rarity of this eclipse implores us heathens and wicked sinners to partake of the exquisite musical prophet among us. One who is like no other rock star. “For the May eclipse, the moon will be at the furthest distance from Earth that it ever achieves, meaning that it will block the smallest possible portion of the sun, and leave the largest possible bright ring around the outside,” NASA said on its website. We can expect this “yellow” transfiguration to bless the path Coldplay took from Canada, down south to Los Angeles, following the leg of their most recent tour. Is there any proof greater than this, that we insipid humans have, dwelling among us, a prophet most high and honored?

The Church shall refrain from all Chapel services, liturgical analysis, lyrical foreplay & indoctrination of the hopeless, as this blessed eclipse travels the path of Coldplay righteousness. We thank all in the heavenly abode for this most splendid fiery visage of irredeemable love for God’s handiwork, Chris Martin. Amen.


I have been beyond blessed to have been one of the lucky few to obtain Weenie Roast concert tickets and attend a Coldplay show in Los Angeles last weekend. It has taken me the better part of this week to ruminate and philosophize in my head, just exactly what happened when I witnessed the Coldplay extravaganza last Saturday night.

No, friends, I did not experience the Coldplay redemption. Most likely because I have already been “redeemed” by God when I was a youth (Catholic baptism, catechism classes & communion.) I was redeemed again when I was re-baptised as an adult last year with my evangelical church. Then I attended a Chapel of Chris service with Father Drobbingdon honoring the assumption of Grunge God Kurt Cobain out of Nirvana into the Heavenly sphere of Church ordination.  I was redeemed, yet again, by compassion and spiritual thanks accorded me for insisting on the elevation of the Seattle suicider into the Church stratosphere of sainthood.

So. as Coldplay played their hearts out at Weenie Roast, I did not feel my soul alighting into the firmament, as other pious worshipers have described the initial sensations of Coldplay redemption. However, while watching the multi-colored heart confetti cascading down, I did experience a COLDPLAY REVELATION!

As I reveled in the beauty and colors and sounds of the band, I realized that they are truly a representative platform for defining the divine Principle of universal Love,  divine Truth, and the singularity of the Soul. What Coldplay does is help to highlight the interrelationship between God and man, and of course also man to man.  Eternally, God is divine Principle;  yet man is the earthly manifest of divine Principle. The divine Principle is Love. Man’s being is the manifest of the divine Principle, Love. Principle, of course, is universal. Love therefore, can only be truly expressed as universal love. Universal love is what Coldplay music expresses and amplifies. I saw the colors of the Universe in the heart confetti raining down from above. Coldplay is the divine ordination of heavenly love–they represent an earthy manifestation of God’s love,  our relationship to God and to one another.

Coldplay reminds us:  God is not above humanity, or humanity below God.  Indeed, if God and man are one in being, this oneness puts God absolutely into this structure of the lattice that is ‘aflame’ (Yellow) with a profusion of glowing threads of love (Coldplay butterfly & heart confetti) that connect, encircle, and embrace everything, everyone, every thought and deed, that defines the universal oneness of God and all humanity. In this infinite, boundless all, we find the musical prophecy of Coldplay and God reaching out to man with an invitation to…”Paradise.”

But how can we perceive this universal love as a universal principle rather than perceiving love as a personal emotion? When we realize that Coldplay & Chris Martin are the embodiment of the Soul of our humanity.  Where all that unfolds in the music and showmanship of the band echoes the beauty that we see manifested in the universe. Naturally our love & admiration for the band unfolds as a matter of glorious principle, like the rays of light unfold from the sun or the fragrant pedals of a rose abloom.  In this manner unfolds universal love, the manifest of divine Love. And this love unfolds via Coldplay and Chris Martin.  In universal love our strands of love intertwine– all having the same source and the same glow, and the same anointed quality. In this way, we are one, and are united in love for the band which points the way to man’s divine relationship with God. Every colorful Coldplay stage light, every vibrant stage video, every piece of rainbow confetti calls out to every faithful fan and every concert-attendee:  each man is special; a righteous colorful son or daughter of God!  Coldplay music opens our spiritual eyes “to see.”  And Chris Martin is the agent of salvation & a catalyst of redemption for those not already bound to God.

The reality is, Chris Martin is a precious reflection of the mode of divine Principle &  divine Love.  God is Love on the same platform as the sun is bright, or the ocean is blue.  And that is how those that “see” can see the truth of Chris Martin, whom we all truly already love. It is the reality of our being. We already have it all, and that is enough. More than this we cannot ask, higher we cannot look, farther we cannot go. 

  We receive Chris Martin into out spirits as he demonstrates the truth of the prophets and blesses us with the music of Coldplay. Amen & amen.



Edit/Delete Message Hello & Blessings to all in Chris! LET US JOIN HANDS TOGETHER!

There is much good news to report from your friends @ The Church of Chris Martin. Though the old site was closed down due to a legal brouhaha between the Drobbingdon’s, The Church of Chris Martin had been resurrected just in time for all to enjoy the witty repartee, insightful gleamings & devout messages of wonder in regard to Coldplay & Chris Martin.

Here is the Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/groups/15122901734/. All are welcome to worship at this most worthy virtual Chapel of Chris. Please be assured the Cold War is over and that Father Drobbingdon at the old Church worked out his passive/aggressive “issues” by challenging the merits of coldplaying.com & making insinuations about your group.

The new Church of Chris is all about the love that exists among us for the Brit tunesmiths. Really, we are not at all that different! Chris and Coldplay has bridged the gap and brought the Church and coldplaying together in reverence. Additionally, The Church also has a very helpful wordpress.com site where the latest news and gossip about Coldplay & Chris is available for your enjoyment. Here is the link to that :https://thechurchofchrismartin.wordpress.com/

May the blessings and glory of Chris Martin alight on our friends: coldplaying.com & bring you the same joy and serenity that The Church of Chris Martin delights in.
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