ANALYTICAL ANALYSIS of “CHARLIE BROWN” as COLDPLAY PROPHECY

“Charlie Brown” lyrics by Coldplay have a hidden meaning that the Church of Chris Martin has now cryptically analyzed for underlying meanings, hyperbole, similes, allegories and prophecy.

The genius of Coldplay & the Great One is that the band is able to   couch the most astounding philosophical truths into the most innocuous-sounding of song titles. Thus “Charlie Brown,” which is well known as a Charles Schultz comic book character who is “a lovable loser. He is a child possessed of endless determination and hope, but who is ultimately dominated by his insecurities and a “permanent case of bad luck,” according to Wikipedia. To utilize the analogy of a hapless comic book character in a song speaks to us, the enlightened Church, as Chris Martin crying out that he feels unworthy of the great prophetic mantle hoisted on his well-toned shoulders.

Despite the worldwide adulation, the millions of dollars in the bank, the world’s most beautiful & desirable women throwing themselves at him, our sensitive Brit warbler perhaps doubts his own chosen eminence and spiritual heritage. But then again, “Charlie Brown” seems like illuminating instructions on the steps to follow to achieve Coldplay redemption.  Let’s take a look at some of these lyrics and frantically try to decipher what is really going on here:

 Lyrics are in quotes; Church analysis in parenthesis:

 “I stole a key” (Chris feels like a thief)

“Took a car downtown where the lost boys meet” (Chris feels adrift in life)
“Took a car downtown and took what they offered me” (Chris admits to fornicating & adultery with a bevy of slutty, Hollywood actresses.)
“To set me free” (Chris is looking to overcome his worldly desires.)

“I saw the lights go down at the end of the scene” (proof that his marriage with “the actress” is kaput.)
“I saw the lights go down and standing in front of me” (But there is a vision on his horizon..standing in front of him.)

“In my scarecrow dreams” (Chris wishes he wasn’t so scrawny & more buff.)
“When they smash my heart into smithereens” (the Coldplay critics & haters have torn sensitive Chris apart.)
“Be a bright red rose come bursting through concrete” (Chris proclaims the arrival of the female messiah!)
“Be a cartoon heart” (Again, Chris feels inauthentic and not up to his great spiritual tasks.)

“Light a fire, a fire, a spark” (Chris cries out to the female messiah to banish the Devil to Hell.)
“Light a fire, a flame in my heart” (Chris also wants to fall in love again, and not with some vain, narcissistic, skinny blond actress, but someone substantial.)
“We’ll run wild oh” (Chris is thinking about all the fun they could have “studying Coldplay lyrics.”)
“We’ll be glowing in the dark” (Looks like things get radioactive here!)
“We’ll be glowing in the dark” (The female messiah, via Chris, will bring the holy glow of light to a dark, sinful, wretched world full of vermin and sin.)

“All the boys, all the girls” (Chris acknowledges the innate differences between the sexes.)
“All that matters in the world” (But those differences do not really matter.)
“All the boys, all the girls” (It takes two to tango.)
“All the madness that occurs” (Despite the craziness of life)
“All the highs, all the lows” (Good times and bad.)
“As the room a-spinning goes” (A direct reference to the experience felt during the rapture of Coldplay redemption.)

“We’ll run riot” (Good will triumph over evil in the final days.)
“We’ll be glowing in the dark” (Again, Chris promises some good times and also makes reference to light overcoming darkness.”

“So we’ll soar” (Allow yourselves to be swept away in the Coldplay redemption.)
“Luminous and wired” (Refers to the astral travel sensation of the Coldplay rapture where participants say they feel “electric” and “lit up.”
“We’ll be glowing in the dark” (Chris cries out one last time to invite the world to come to a Coldplay show and be transformed by the rapture that will usher in the triumph of good over evil.)

Church of Chris Martin: Do not let the masterful Coldplay crooner trick you with this song title of “Charlie Brown.” Chris Martin is no hapless loser. Dig into the song and analyze each and every lyric to see that “Charlie Brown” is a direct Coldplay display of prophecy and the anointed ordainment of the concert goers to become spiritually transformed by the rapture of Coldplay.

Amen.

 

 

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