All the tabloids are saying you’re creepin around with that pretty boy Rob Lowe!
If the Martin marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be;
For many pretty pious parishioners would love half the chance;
to Strawberry Swing with Chris Martin and do the naughty Yellow dance.
It was bad enough when you drooled all over Matthew Morrison on Glee.
You cuckolded our Paradise Master for all the world to see.
Dearest Mother, please go GOOP & take your marital claws out of Chris.
Hopeful women are lining up already to give him the big “Coldplay Kiss!”