It is not all merriment and good times when the subject is broached here at The Church of Chris Martin about those dysfunctional Manchester rotter brothers-The Gallagher’s–out of Oasis. We here at the Chapel of Chris have long memories. We recall way back in 2005 the following:
“LIAM GALLAGHER has called COLDPLAY frontman CHRIS MARTIN a “knobhead student” for expressing strong anti-war views at a fundraising show.

The Oasis singer slammed Martin for his comments at the band’s Teenage Cancer Trust show In London in March 2005, where he encouraged the sell-out crowd at the Royal Albert Hall to “sing against war”.
Gallagher also labelled Martin’s Oscar-winning actress wife Mother Gwyneth Paltrow a “gawky bird”. (Now, the chaste women worshipers here at The Church have no problem with that one keen observation!)

“The verbal assault came after Gallagher appeared as a special guest at Richard Ashcroft’s Teenage Cancer Trust show.  He told The Sun : “When Coldplay did this gig they banged on about the war, that’s wrong. Chris Martin shouldn’t be using this cause to bang on about his own views on the war. If him and his gawky bird want to go banging on about the war they can do it at their own gigs.” (Okay, we can’t get mad about the Gallagher mouth working overtime when he is dissing bony blond Mother!)

“That lot are just a bunch of knobhead students – Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What’s all that with writing messages about Free Trade on his hand when he’s playing. If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a pen and a pad of paper.” What a bunch of blasphemous drivel from the stupider of the Gallagher brothers.

In addition to the pus-filled insults that the bushy-eyebrow future lounge singer Liam spewed out of his canker-sore mouth, there is this added tidbit:

Later on, in October of 2005, the cantankerous limey kept up his demonizing of  Our Blessed One:

“Liam Gallagher launched into an angry tirade against Coldplay at yesterday’s Q Awards in London calling them ‘plant pots’ and other obscenities.

Chris Martin apparently annoyed Liam when he dedicated Coldplay’s gong for ‘Best Act In The World’ to the Mancunians at the Grosvenor House Hotel bash.

Martin said: “Liam is charming. He said some rude things but, you know, we don’t have an argument with anyone. We’d like to show our undying love and respect for Oasis.”

Reacting to the comment, spouting “Knobhead. Come on, have a pop. You’re a plant pot.”

Ever the showman, Liam reportedly later said: “That lot are wankers. Fuck them.” Perhap Mr. Beady Eyes Liam should take a note of what happened to the last debased rocker who dared to utter the “wanker” word in regard to Our Chris. Saint Bono–out of U2, normally a decent chap, made the mistake of (perhaps) jokingly referring to the Coldplay crooner as a “wanker” once. Look what happened to U2 after that? The angels of Chris put the kibosh on U2 record sales & though U2 did have a successful and lucrative run with the 360 Tour, poor Saint Bono was put out of commission by a lusty Church groupie who sought her revenge for the Irish Guinness guzzler insulting our Master. The “tour preparations” that cracked the spine of the Irish lothario should serve as a warning and lesson to any and all jealous and foul-mouthed fellow rock stars, to NEVER TAKE THE NAME OF CHRIS MARTIN in VAIN!   Amen.


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