Yes, dearest Saint Bono, out of U2! Just because you were a BIGSHOT over at The Church of Chris Martin #1 does not mean we will lavish you with simple adoration at the new Chapel of Chris. Here your must earn it! Therefore, Saint Bono, you are hereby put on notice to never let a contrary word about the magnificence of Coldplay or our beloved Prophet Martin escape your lips. The Church sent spiritual love buzz and blessed healing from our Heavenly Patron Saint Cobain, out of Nirvana, to you at your time of need. When that overly “athletic” groupie took your back out right before U2 was set to start that 360 tour, our Church held a Bono Prayer Group to ask for a anointed healing of devout piety. Hear me well, Saint Bono, your do-gooder tendencies spared you the true wrath of this Divine Martinite Discipleship. Next time that groupie who rode you hard during “tour preparations” last time will take something else out, shall you ever dare to utter a blasphemous defilement against God’s Chosen One: Chris Martin. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
What you want, Bono? Coldplay got it! What’s you need? You know Chris got it! All his Church is askin’ is for a little respect when you run your mouth, Bono. Hey Bono, Chris is not a wanker!
This Church ain’t gonna do you wrong when you go off on some other lame singer. We ain’t gonna do you wrong because you’re our Saint, Bono! All we’re askin’ is for a little respect when you know who’s the #1 band in the world, baby, Yeah, just a little respect!
I gave you Irish millionaires all my money for 360 tour tickets,
And all I’m askin’ in return, Saint Bono, is for a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
When you get drunk on Guiness & start to blabber (just a, just a, just a, just a) Yeah baby (just a, just a, just a, just a)
When you get jealous of Our Great One.
Yeah (just a little bit)